Yeah, they are burning

Today's topic is hemorroids.  I've got them and you don't want them.  As a younger officer, I used to be amused by Technician Crusty, who frequently drove me on the ladder truck.  Crusty could spend a half hour in the bathroom stall and could talk longer about his various backdoor ailments.  I have to confess though that I wasn't real sympathetic.  Now that I am older and have experienced some, I owe Crusty an apology.  I think I owe them mostly to the year I spent as a temporary District Commander - much too much time spent sitting behind the desk or behind the wheel of the command buggy and eating a low fiber diet to match.  Now that I am back to my permanent rank, I spend more time being active, which helps - but apparently once you have hemorroids you got them for life.  Thank goodness for baby wipes.